im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
