How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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