sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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