She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
