OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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