My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
