VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I had to cum in my sink.
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