The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
