you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize