Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
