thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
