Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So many bounce houses so little time
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
