Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
