thus making me awesome and them whores
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
