i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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