"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
