You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
