I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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