i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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