I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize