I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
