i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My pussy is not your playground.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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