why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
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