I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
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