I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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