how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
tell me about the eggs
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