Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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