Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
