No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
