This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
