Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize