i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
