"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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