"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
