i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
