some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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