woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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