hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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