so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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