You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Four minutes until I can fart!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
