Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
