My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Slut skills are useful in every country.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
