My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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