youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
