So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
