stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
