so that wasnt chicken after all
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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