Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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