I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
