So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
