friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
