I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Come share oat with me in your robe
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
