Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
