It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
