it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
