Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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