just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
