cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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